Navigating Transitions: Making Shifts from One Activity to the Next Easier for Everyone
- Demi Banchs, MA, LPC, RPT™
- Nov 1, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Feb 20
If you’re reading this, my guess is you just can’t take one more night of saying “It’s time to put the iPad away and come to the dinner table” 300 times. Struggles with transitions are one of the most common issues I see as a child therapist. And honestly? I get it. Transitions can be rough for all of us. Sound familiar?
“Okay, self, in five minutes, I’m going to get up and fold the laundry.” Five minutes later. “Actually… two more minutes, I swear I’ll do it.” 60 minutes later. “Ughhh, I guess I’ll get up now.” Drags feet to laundry room while daydreaming about when someone will invent a laundry robot.
Transitions are tough! For children, even the small ones can feel overwhelming. But with a few adjustments, we can make those shifts happen in ways that feel smoother and more supportive for everyone involved.
Understanding Transitions as a Stressor on the Nervous System
When we’re deeply engaged in something, stopping can feel abrupt, and for children, this jolt can be even stronger. Their brains aren’t fully equipped with the “gear shift” abilities needed to change direction quickly. So when it’s time to stop playing and get ready for bed, their system can go into overdrive, leading to those meltdowns or protests we know so well.
Transitions—especially from a preferred activity to a less preferred one—can create stress for any child. For children with underlying challenges, like a history of trauma, neurodivergence, or other emotional and regulatory difficulties, these shifts can be even more difficult to manage. The sudden change can overwhelm their nervous system, which may already be working hard to stay balanced.
This can feel frustrating as a caregiver —why does ending a game and starting bath time have to be so tough? But it’s totally normal, and the good news? There are ways to make these transitions feel lighter and less daunting. Here are a few tips to ease the process and make transitions less stressful.
Gradual Shift Approach Using Sensory Cues
Think about when you get a five-minute warning before a meeting or an appointment. It gives you a chance to mentally wrap up what you’re doing, shift gears, and prepare for what’s next. Children need this time too, but sometimes, a simple verbal “five minutes left!” isn’t quite enough to help their bodies ease into the transition.
A gradual transition can work wonders in helping children feel ready to move on. Instead of one quick announcement, try using multiple sensory cues to signal the upcoming change.
Dim the Lights: If possible, start dimming the lights 10 minutes before the transition. This visual cue lets them know that playtime is gradually winding down.
Play a Familiar Tune: At the five-minute mark, play the same calming song each time to signal the approaching shift. This repetitive sound cue becomes a comforting signal that a transition is coming.
Introduce a Soothing Touch or Taste: At two minutes to go, offer a warm, comforting beverage (like milk or chamomile tea) or even a favorite stuffed animal. This helps the body get ready for what’s next by introducing sensory signals that engage multiple senses.
With these layered cues, we’re offering smaller doses of “playtime is ending” rather than a single, abrupt stop. This gradual shift approach gives kids’ bodies and minds a chance to get on board with the upcoming change, making the transition smoother and less overwhelming.
Use Bridge Activities to Transition Gradually
Sometimes, moving straight from a favorite activity to a less exciting one can feel too abrupt. By introducing a bridge activity—a fun or preferred task that gently eases the shift—we can make transitions smoother. Adding choice within these bridge activities can help children feel a sense of control, which reduces stress on the nervous system.
Move to Another Fun Activity: Start with something enjoyable that’s slightly less intense. For example, if they’re deeply absorbed in Minecraft, switch to a short YouTube video they like. This keeps the momentum going without an immediate stop.
Provide Choice Within the Bridge: Offering simple choices within each step supports their autonomy and helps reduce stress on the nervous system. For instance, if they’re finishing a video game, ask, “Would you like to watch this video or that one next?” Then, if transitioning from screen time to a cooperative game, ask, “Should we play this game together, or would you like to choose something else?” Each choice gives them a bit of control, making the transition feel more like a shared experience.
Incorporate Connection: As the next step, introduce an activity that involves connection, like a cooperative game with a caregiver. This adds a social element, helping them begin to wind down in a supportive way.
Transition Off Screens Gently: Finally, after these engaging activities, they’re more ready to move away from screens entirely. At this point, transitioning to the next part of the routine will likely feel smoother and less overwhelming.
Using bridge activities not only makes transitions easier but also provides children with a sense of control and connection as they move from one task to the next.
Make It Playful
Playfulness is a natural stress-buster. Bringing play into those dreaded transitions can help ease the tension and maybe even make the experience a little enjoyable. When we use playfulness to guide children through transitions, we’re not only making our lives a whole lot easier, but we’re also helping them build skills like flexibility and distress tolerance.
Make Transitions a Game: Try incorporating simple games to move from one activity to the next. For example, set a timer and challenge them to “beat the clock” as they gather their things, or count the steps it takes to get to the next task.
Move Playfully Between Tasks: Add playful movement to the transition, like hopping from the playroom to the bath or tiptoeing from screen time to snack time. This adds a sense of fun and keeps them engaged.
Use Imaginative Scenarios: Create a fun story around the transition. For example, pretend they’re a superhero heading off on a new mission or a character stepping into a magical new world. Engaging their imagination can make the transition feel exciting and adventurous.
Making transitions playful helps shift the focus from what they’re leaving behind to the enjoyment of what’s next. By approaching each transition with a sense of fun, you’re helping them build flexibility and making the process a lighter, happier experience.
Increase Co-Regulatory Support
During transitions, being physically present and providing supportive cues can make a big difference in helping children stay regulated. By decreasing physical distance and joining them in a shared experience, you’re providing co-regulation, which helps their nervous system feel more grounded and ready for what’s next.
Join in the Final Moments: Participate in the last few moments of the preferred activity alongside them. For example, if they’re finishing screen time, sit together and engage in the activity with them as it winds down. Transitioning together creates a shared experience that can ease the shift.
Create Shared Rituals: If your transition routine includes a snack or warm drink, join them by eating or drinking together. This shared experience creates a sense of togetherness, making the shift feel safe and supportive.
Using co-regulatory support helps children feel connected, grounded, and ready to move through transitions with greater ease and confidence.
Create Consistency and Predictability Around Transitions
Children thrive with consistency, especially around transitions. A familiar, positive routine can help ease the stress of change by reducing novelty and unpredictability.
Establish Simple Rituals: Create a consistent process for transitions, like playing the same song, sharing a snack, or having a short story together. These small rituals bring comfort and familiarity, making each transition feel like a natural part of the day without needing to be rigid.
Make the Routine Visual: Sometimes, visual cues like a picture schedule or timer can reinforce the transition process and add another layer of predictability. Knowing what comes next and seeing it visually can help children mentally prepare for the change.
By creating a routine with consistent, comforting cues, you help children feel more secure, making transitions a manageable part of their daily rhythm.
Support Regulation Prior to and During Transition
Providing regulating sensory input that aligns with a child’s unique preferences can help keep their nervous system balanced, making transitions smoother and more manageable. Consider incorporating sensory activities that you know are regulating for them, whether it’s movement, tactile input, or another form of sensory engagement.
Incorporate Preferred Movement or Sensory Input: If your child finds movement regulating, try having them sit on a yoga ball or another dynamic seat while engaged in an activity, like playing on the iPad. As you transition, they can continue with gentle bouncing, which helps their body adjust to the change in a way that feels natural for them.
Offer a Comforting Sensory Experience Post-Transition: After the transition, provide a soothing sensory experience, such as a warm drink or snack, to further support their regulation. This comforting activity can help them feel more grounded and ready for what’s next.
By incorporating sensory input that aligns with their needs, you support their ability to transition with less stress and more ease.
Support Your Own Regulation Before Transition Time
Children often pick up on our energy, so regulating yourself first can make a huge impact. Take a moment to prepare, especially if you anticipate the transition might be challenging.
Find a Regulating Practice That Works for You: Whether it’s taking a few deep, steady breaths, stretching your body, or grounding yourself by tuning in to the physical sensations around you, find a simple way to center yourself. Giving yourself this brief moment helps prepare you to be fully present and steady for your child.
Check In on Your Own Basics: Transitions can feel more manageable when our own needs are met. If possible, grab a sip of water, have a quick snack, or even take a few seconds to stretch your shoulders. Supporting your own regulation helps you offer a calm, reassuring presence, making it easier to co-regulate through the transition.
By grounding yourself first, you’re setting the stage for a more connected, supportive transition experience for both you and your child.
Practice Transitions in a Playful Way
If transitions are a known struggle, practicing them in a fun, relaxed way when your child is regulated can help build their confidence and reduce stress around the process. By using play, you’re not only making transitions feel safer, but you’re also helping them develop the skills to manage these moments more smoothly over time.
Make It a Game: Pretend you’re both transitioning, even if it’s something silly, like “ending” a pretend dragon-slaying session or saying goodbye to an imaginary castle before moving to the next task. This playful approach takes the pressure off and allows you to model the transition in a fun, low-stakes way.
Switch Roles: Let them play the caregiver role while you take on the child’s role during the transition. This role reversal can be both fun and empowering, giving them a sense of what it’s like to lead the change. You can also playfully model over-the-top reactions and then “regulate” yourself, giving them the chance to laugh and relax around the process.
Practice with Different Scenarios: Use playful scenarios that mimic real transitions, like moving from one game to another, “ending” a pretend party to go home, or finishing an art activity to set up for a snack. The variety keeps it interesting while teaching flexibility and helping them understand that transitions come in different forms.
By using playful, low-pressure practice, you’re helping them associate transitions with positive, enjoyable experiences. This practice builds resilience, making the actual moments feel less daunting and more manageable.
Transitions can be a challenging part of the day, but with small adjustments, they can also become valuable opportunities to build connection, confidence, and resilience—one gentle shift at a time. By creating a supportive environment that includes choice, sensory input, co-regulation, and a bit of play, you’re helping children approach transitions with greater ease and less stress, setting them up for success in managing change throughout their lives.
If you’re thinking, “Demi, how am I supposed to remember all of this?”—I’ve got you covered! Attached below is a printable handout you can hang up wherever you need a quick reminder.